By Diego Nascimento
I confess that I have serious difficulty in dealing with people who scream. My repudiation is linked to the exaggerated exercise of vocal chords in situations of work and interpersonal relationships. Observations I have made over time show that the next step after inappropriate use of voice is physical aggression. To illustrate the seriousness of this theme I will tell you about something I experienced a few days ago.
Wednesday afternoon, Lavras, Minas Gerais state, Brazil. I went to a medical clinic and calmly waited to be called by the front desk. I heard the most diverse “causes” of those who exercised there waiting with me. What should have been just routine became one of the gloomiest experiences for a corporate consultant and communicator. I noticed a certain movement in the next corridor: it was time for the famous coffee break. If education and common sense were part of the training of those involved who this would not have been a problem, but motivated by some particular situation of the weekend, they polluted the environment with laughter, inappropriate vocabulary and shouts and more screams. It seemed as if we were at the door of an ill-frequented pub, full of disrespectful and rude drunks. The scene was so alarming that one of the doctors interrupted an appointment and in fury cried out for order and silence, which was promptly accomplished.
I wish it were fiction, but it’s reality. And without doing any kind of polling I can say that screams are more than common in offices, shops, squares … and at home. I often use family relationships as a great laboratory of action / reaction in the everyday life of any human being. The theory of these attitudes has been recorded in an article* published by The British Psychological Society which states that “self-control depends on many processes and that changes in life can offer different impacts depending on the limitation of the source of energy.” In short, it is easy to understand that self-control remains the secret to success in relationships.
Above any theory we find the Holy Bible. In it, the apostle Paul quotes in Galatians, chapter 5, verse 22, self-control as a characteristic of the fruit that comes from the Spirit. Absence of a relationship with God leaves us more confident in ourselves and hopeless, resulting in trouble and a total lack of control. That is why I invite you, reader to share the importance of calm whatever the moment and the challenge. May His voice be conducive to refreshing rather than synonymous with aggression and mediocrity, like the staff at the medical clinic where I was treated.
We live in terrible times and absolutely you have had the same experiences in which people “tried to win the argument by shouting.” In my case, even if they are family, people who shout lose credit with me. Confidence is called into question, after all, how can I delegate responsibility to those who, at the first challenge, get off the track?
I conclude with a simple request, but able to interfere deeply in our relationship: never yell at me.